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Meet Phil and Grant

Garden crows funny post

Garden crows that look like nightclub bouncers

I’m the kind person that will cross the street to avoid a pigeon and hyperventilate at the very thought of a bird coming in through an open window, but I do buy the feathery critters good quality fat balls to help them through the harshest winter months. I have even spent some time googling which fat balls to buy because you do hear stories of sawdust and mystery filling the more budget friendly balls and no Christmas Robin will get all cheery and tuneful on sawdust.

So, the garden birds were fine, all chirpy and fluttery and I enjoyed watching them from the safety of my house. I’d worked out who was in charge and who was pushing their luck ready for a peck on the head for taking the mickey. A couple of the smarter birdies stood below the hanging bird feeder and ate the bite size crumbs that fell their way. All very convivial and all were thriving.

Soon two crows turned up and with a lot of attitude patrolled the area behind our garden. I guess this is how they filled their days before returning to the door of a rough nightclub ready to sort out any geezer that gives it large. 

Within weeks I had stopped watching the soap opera of the small pretty garden birds and was hooked on what the two crows were doing. They looked like brothers and well ‘ard so I named them Phil and Grant after Eastenders Mitchell brothers, although this Phil and Grant looked a lot more handy than their namesakes.

Fast forward a year or so and I have tamed them enough to come to my call. I give them breakfast each day, no early worms for them, they’re more fry up kind of fellas, and before you get all Bill Oddy on me I don’t actually give them fry ups, I’m responsible and have researched what they’d enjoy. I did once buy them a packet of Ryvitas but had to butter them because even a crow can’t get one of those guys down dry, but the butter always landed face down and I could tell by the way Phil or Grant flew over that they were tinged with disappointment whenever it was a Ryvita day, can’t blame them can you.

Until I googled it I thought I was probably on Phil & Grant mark 2 but have since found out that they mate and stay together in a family group and can live up to fifteen years. I’m so pleased that my Phil* and Grant will be sorting out the wayward with a clip round the ear’ole for many years to come.

*I’m open to the fact that Phil could stand for Philomena but that’s for you take up with her if you’re brave enough.

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