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The subtle signs

I am forty-four and that’s OK. I wasn’t OK about turning into this decade but I am fine now that I am in it. When looking back at the different versions of myself that have come and gone I can see positive changes; I am no longer riddled daily with crippling anxiety, I have found my voice and use it, I care less about people’s opinions and more about my own truths and I look after myself with much more care and consideration. Things like these I see as the big and major signs of growth, progress and dare I say it-ageing. But while pondering these big signs, I have recognised some smaller and funnier signposts that have and are indicative of little old me clocking up the miles on this road of life.

Radio station choices as a timeline:

Radio One-Kiss-Heart-Kisstory-Magic-Radio 2. Saturday is my favourite day for Radio 2-Rylan is hilarious in the afternoon! The other day I accidentally landed on Radio 1 and I just…well…it wasn’t for me or pleasant.

I am truly lucky enough to have reached this age and still have my mum and dad. However, since when did some of the rules change? Before they set off on a journey, a holiday road trip, or a drive home from mine I kiss them, hug them, tell them I love them and now say the phrase ‘Give me a couple of rings when you get there,’ and they do too. I wish I knew when this pivotal moment in time happened. It has seemed like a silent, seamless swap of roles. In the last year I have found myself guiding my Mum around Aldi to avoid her bumping into anyone and taking my Dad to minor injuries for a nasty cut that he insisted was ‘just a scratch..’ We need a new guidance or self help book on how to parent parents without them knowing what we are doing. Although my dad would argue that my mum, me and my sister have been micro-managing him for most of our lives.

Staying in is the new going out, for sure. I love a good drinky, a dance, a raucous laugh and socialising with the gang but I love it even more if I can do these things within the walls of one of our homes. I value hearing what each person can say, not being in close proximity to others and knowing exactly where the loo is. While we are on the subject of going out-out if I am paying over a tenner, I would like a bottle of wine and not just a glass and I don’t want to stand in a sweaty, peoply crush at a bar to get one. And another thing, I would rather have a home cooked or made plate of grub or a picky platter than pay for a ponsed up sarnie on a slate with an olive on the side for company. It seems long gone are the days of order what you want and let’s split the bill before heading onto somewhere else. I can’t believe that we used to voluntarily ‘go on somewhere else..’ I get the heebie jeebies if I am not home by 10pm on a school night. However, I can be adaptable if I have had time to prepare for such an event and of course I am more flexible at weekends. It seems the young’uns these days are having their ‘prees’ at the time I am taking my make-up off and applying serum before popping on my audiobook.

True

There are other observations that I have made that are definitely signs of an older, wiser or a maturer mindset: appreciating a quality pair of pjs, taking a just in case wee at any opportunity, learning to fold clothes properly, enjoying hanging the washing on the line and most recently-batch cooking. Someone please instruct me to have a midlife crisis. I am not sure I want to notice any more of these things.

I am going to call my girls and suggest going out until at least 10pm-maybe dinner, drinks AND the new Top Gun-wild!!

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