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Is this it…?

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Photo by Leah Kelley on


My twenty-two year old thinks that she has found ‘the one’.

Has she though?

As a mum how do I know?

What if he is not?

My worry comes from my own experience of thinking that I had found ‘the one’ at the ripe old age of sixteen and that transpiring into the biggest shit show of my life.

How cautious should I be of history repeating itself? I completely get that I am transferring my own past hurt and life inexperience onto a very different relationship dynamic, but I can’t help but be afraid of the risk that she will ever feel as awful as I did.

Trying to ignore the maternal urge to kidnap her, bring her home, and lock her in her room, completely smothered in cotton wool for eternity, I am clamping my teeth down on my tongue and focusing on the green flags that their flourishing relationship is showing.

The first time I met him he offered to buy me a glass of wine within seconds. I mean- that’s a double green flag right there!

He is very polite. We love manners as parents, don’t we? Not only is he polite, but he is more than happy to converse away with anyone, and everyone even vaguely connected to my girl. This is in complete contrast to her previous loves, who struggled to connect with us in any real way save ‘yes and no’ answers to our well-meant questions and enquiries.

He walks her home from a night out every time, despite inclement weather, the long distance and regardless of whether he gets invited in or not upon arrival at said destination. (For an innocent cup of tea, of course.)

When she is with him, she is absolutely 100% herself. There is not a hint of a fake laugh, forced smile or feeling that she is walking on eggshells. He gets her and he lets her be her at all times.

He plucks her eyebrows for her, with the care and finesse of any qualified beautician.

Her birthday was in July, he was running present ideas past me in May.

He tells her that she is beautiful, even when she is togged up in her C-PAP machine, looking like Maverick from Top Gun, just before lights out.

They are more emotionally savvy than a lot of people double their age. They tell each other when they need time out or are needing clarity, with neither of them getting offended. They cheer hard for each other while also putting their own individual well-being first.

He took her home to meet his family at the earliest opportunity he got and she was welcomed with open arms.

He is more than just a little bit of a lovely, kind, caring and reliable young man. We have been taken aback as to how quickly they have seemingly blended into the sweetest couple and so pleasantly surprised at how much we have taken to him too.

Maybe I am not worried about them not lasting, instead, maybe I am nervous and apprehensive about the fact that they will last-in a good way.

What will this mean for the shape of our nuclear family of three? Is this the person that will shape and change the future for my girl? Will he be the one that she loves and needs more than us? Is he up to the job of looking after her? Is she good enough for him?

Once again, a new chapter for our family (and his) appears to be beginning. I just wish I could have a sneak peek as to how this chapter will go.

I hope whatever happens-they stay this happy. Fingers crossed.

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